The announcement

The moment that will make people feel heart beeping fast, and also moment were ups and downs happen. 
To be honest, I know myself. And i do know how people perceive me. Can be say that,  I know the answer already, but i still wanna give myself a chances to try. Its true for you never try, you will never know. And the result for VOC shows that it is worth for me to try on. Of course, human are still human. Needs for affiliation are still there. You wanna achieve higher if you could. So do I.


Before the announcement, someone ask about the feeling. My answer would be "I enjoy it". Yes. I do enjoy it. I tell out what I know, what I have prepared and what I have. I know during interview. I might not performing well, and there are a lots of thing in my mind and i don't even have the time to say out. Not truly because i don't have time, but i tent to forgot the question asked. I can answer the 1st question but when I am answering the first question answers, i forget bout the second question d and it makes me cannot continue answering on the question. How ever, this show that I am a forgetful person. I am still not confident enough. 


Back to core topic which is the announcement, while waiting for the water to be pour. Of course, I know what my heart was thinking. However, I wish to have something different for that. Unfortunately, there are still no differences made. I was stun at first when they clarify on the results. But, I am still able to accept it. 


Although I was loss in this round, but I still win something back. I win the cares from others. I look strong to you guys, cause i am still smiling all the while. I never shows you guys sad face, and at that moment,  i feel so thus I do so. But things change when it came into night time. The more cares i receive, the more i feel upsets and wish to not let go. Cares are not motivating me at all during night time, it really make me feel regrets. And its shows that I am actually acting to be strong, I am just protecting myself from truly facing to the fact. 


By the way, I appreciate for those who is concerning me and console me. I will be better. I will be more strong after tomorrow. Is a good experiences for me and yet I appreciate what i have gain through the whole journey. I will cherish every moment i have now with you guys. 


Lastly, all the best for who had been elected in the team. Bring all of us to a better tomorrow. 


                                                                                                                                                 Monique